Zoey Rose

Hubby is out with the guys tonight and I convinced myself that this little alone time would be the perfect time to blog. I don't know what has happened, but I think once you get out of the habit of doing something, even if it is something that you love, it just takes an effort to get back into the swing of things again! Even though my initial little blogging break was due to morning sickness and now I'm feeling like a whole new preggo {I'm even doing YOGA!!!!} but I still have gotten out of the habit of checking in, writing my thoughts down..  My brain doesn't think in blog posts anymore! haha! I know you know what I mean if you are a regular blogger... you almost go through your day and when something happens you think to yourself that this could SO be a blog post!

Anyways! So here I am and I have big news to share...

I'm officially 20 weeks now and on Wednesday my sister and I both had our scheduled ultra sounds to find out first and foremost if the babies were all healthy as can be and secondly to find out the gender!!

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you probably remember my post about confessing that I wanted to be pregnant again... and I also confessed that we already had names picked out and that we would wait until the baby was born to find out what we were having this time. Well, that all went out the window. Funny how things change huh?

I was so eager to find out if this was another little princess or another little man I could barely stand it! My sister was the same way. Especially being her first.

Well at 9:30 am I was called back to do my ultra sound first. Everything checked out perfectly, something to be honest I was quite nervous about this time around. And then the tech announced that we would be adding another baby GIRL to our little fam!! It was such a fun moment... I actually had been convinced I was having a girl for the last month or so. I have no idea why. It was just my gut. I'm thrilled to bring on the headbands and princess stuff again... I feel like it was so long ago that we had a baby girl around!

 

So then my sister and I switched places and the ultra sound tech announced to them that they had a healthy baby BOY on the way!! She came out and we just kinda started making a scene in the waiting room! All the receptionists and nurses were cheering.. it was so funny!  I mean come on, how often do two sisters get preggo at the same time and find out on the same day what they are having!? It was just an insane moment and I will never forget it. Our hubby's just laughed and John joked about needing a few more shot guns now that we had 2 girls. lol. Sometimes I just honestly can't believe that we are both pregnant and going through this right now together. I feel so incredibly blessed to share this with someone I am so incredibly close with to begin with. And praise God for 2 healthy babies... a BOY and a GIRL. Couldn't be better.

I really don't know if I was more excited to find out what I was having or what she was having! I got home and during naptime jumped on Pinterest and started pinning tons of stuff for her BOY baby shower. It was too funny. This will be my first nephew on my side of the family. I was the first to have kids out of my sisters so this is huge for me. I never saw any of John's in-laws pregnant or with babies so this is just a little different kind of special for me. If that makes sense. I can't wait to be called Auntie by one of my sister's babies...melts me just thinking about it!

So John and I had been throwing around a few different name ideas for if it was a girl. We loved Eden and Charolette, but I just wasn't sold on them. We knew the middle name was going to be Rose, after his grandma that passed last year. Then while I was in the shower Wednesday night, I thought of the name Zoey. I absolutely fell in love with it and loved how it sounded with Rose. I told John and he is very visual so he wanted to see how it looked written out. So he did. lol. Don't you love that font btw?!

He ended up loving it and we pretty much are now set on it being her name. We are crazy like that. When we come up with something we love it doesn't take us long to come to a decision. I also loved the fact that the Z reminds me of my maiden name, Zeman. So I felt like that kind of had a special meaning as well. We looked up Zoey and the name means: life. I really liked that. She is such a little gift of life to us... and she is definitely full of life! I have been feeling that little girl since I was 13 weeks!

And of course I like how all the kids names sound together... Haden, Addyson, Sawyer & Zoey. I like all the Y's too! I'm silly like that. 

Anyways, my sister is still tossing around names with her husband. I can't wait to hear what they decide. 

So that is my little baby update as of today. 

I have so much more I need to share about... what God has been teaching me... I'm hoping to get back into the swing of writing more. I miss it. I miss reading all the blogs I love... I hope you all are doing well..even though I'm not on here all the time and reading, I think about everyone often. 

Oh and if you have instagram, follow me! That has been a fun way for me to stay in touch. I love seeing all the pictures... Okay this preggo mamma is off to bed... 

Here are some Instagram pics from the last month! ♥ 

Instagram: @hmhawthorne

A little bling that hubby got me for our 5 year anniversary!

Sawyer woke up with this curly Q! I had to document it. lol.

My little lunch date. Dang those baby blues!

My other little lunch date. Look at that eyebrow!! haha.

Belle blowing bubbles.

Spontaneous trip to the beach in the evening!

Visiting Uncle Ian at his fire station!

All dressed in his Sunday best! lol.

Five years and counting.. ♥

Five years ago today I was anxiously getting ready to walk down the aisle and say "I do" to a man I fell head over heels for back in 2005. When he got on one knee and asked me to marry him on October 30th of 2006 I never knew how much my life would change in five short years.

We had a whirlwind engagement. I'm not sure if I have ever blogged about it before. If I have, excuse my baby brain and just read on and nod as if you have never heard it. For my sake ok? lol. Anyways, we were engaged the end of October of 2006 and got married Feb. 17th of the following year. Let's do the math... we had exactly 3 months and 18 days before we were saying "i do." That's exactly 110 days to plan an entire wedding where we had a guest list of 205 and ended up with 176 guests in attendance. I'm sure some of you are thinking we were crazy, and some of you were thinking I must have been knocked up. I was not pregnant and although we might have been a little crazy I love it because it is OUR story! 

The true reason behind us getting married as quickly as we did was a very good friend of ours was going to be deploying to Iraq in March. We desperately wanted him to be part of our special day and didn't want to have a long engagement, so that left us only one option.. Get this wedding done! It actually came together smoother than most weddings I have heard about. It helps when you don't have time to really linger making certain decisions. I had some of the most amazing people helping me plan and my parents did wonders as well. Considering I was the first wedding out of us three sisters and I only gave my parents 3 months notice, I give them a ton of credit. If Addy even thinks of doing that to me... LOL... I suppose I will have to smile and take it on just my parents and John's parents did!

Anyways, all that to say it was an amazing day. Not perfect, but that's what makes it perfect later on in life. Looking back, sure I would have changed a few things, but the important thing is that I vowed to love my husband for the rest of my life that day. 

I looked him in the eye, and in front of 176 guests and under God proclaimed my love for him.

Since then I have learned how much more the word "husband" really means. I remember calling him my husband during the whole reception and thinking it was the most amazing thing in the world! It was so fun to look over and say, "that's my husband..." 

Now I know that "husband" actually means "blessing" because he has been one of the greatest gifts God has ever given to me. 

 

I've watched us grow from 23 & 24 year old "kids" that just left the partying stage of our lives into best friends, parents, partners in this journey, striving to give our marriage and our lives to God each day. By no means are we perfect, or do we have the perfect marriage, but I know that we are perfect for each other and I cherish living each day of this imperfect life together with him.

We've held each other through the pain, and rejoiced together in the absolute blessings over the past five years.. I've learned that a man can be strong and also have an amazing heart for God. That is who my husband is.

And now as we celebrate our 5th anniversary, and I have now been pregnant for 3 out of the 5, I smile and know that the best is still yet to come.. 

Today I'm not getting dolled up and going out to a fancy dinner to celebrate. I'm actually sitting in my pjs with no make up on at 1 pm taking care of two sick babies and drinking a root beer to satisfy a little craving brought on by my bun in the oven... 

I smile because this is life. 

I never could have imagined being at this point 5 years ago and now I can't imagine it any other way.

We are going to spend a few nights away in March to celebrate our anniversary, but today, I'm more than content.

Thank you Lord for the incredible blessing you have given me in my husband.

And to my John, I love you more than these words can express. 

Happy Anniversary love.. ♥

Welcome Home Simon!

 I'm writing today with such a happy heart! 

If you have been following the story of little Simon, well, God has answered prayers... 

Simon is HOME! 

If you haven't followed the story, you can check out the last two posts I have done. 

 I'm Going Back {Prayers For Simon Please!}

Prayer For Simon Update

Simon's mommy, Rena, is a friend of mine and we know her family through our auto shop and my spray tanning business! She is an amazing woman of God. Prayers for this family have been coming in for the last month from all over the country and beyond after 17 month old Simon slipped after taking a bath, suffered a severe brain injury, including emergency surgery at Children's Hospital San Diego.

He was just released yesterday to go home. Absolutely amazing progress only described as miraculous. He was doing so great in therapy and the doctors went ahead with the bone flap surgery at the end of last week. The surgery went perfect. Not even 4 weeks after having his first brain surgery, this little trooper is on the mend and home with mommy, daddy, and big brother, Liam {3}.

The poor family has had a tough go, with all of them suffering the horrible stomach flu that has gone through most of San Diego county. Simon most recently got the flu which kept him in the hospital a few days longer.

Like I did in my previous post, I'm going to post some updates right from Rena's {mommy of Simon} Facebook page in order to give you the best, most accurate information!

I can't thank you all enough that have been praying for this little dude... Now they are just asking for prayers as they make the transition home. I melt seeing this smiling face... God is so good.

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Excerpts from  Rena, Simon's mommy {newest to old}:
  
The doctor signed the papers for us to be discharged today. Please pray for us as we return to normal and yet are still fighting this yucky stomach bug. Pray that we are not fearful of Simon walking around and that his brother can learn to be gentle with him for a time. Thank the Lord!!!!

They are taking Simon's IV out and they said if he shows that he is eating and drinking, we can be discharged by 4pm today. Unfortunately, he is refusing to eat or drink anything. PLEASE PRAY that he gets an appetite and starts eating and that Jesse has patience with him as Simon is pretty grumpy.

Simon seems to be doing better today, but is refusing to eat anything. Please pray that he gets his appetite back tonight and eats/drinks, so that we are approved to go home tomorrow morning. We want to bring him home sooooo badly. It is true though that God does not give us more than we can handle and we are hanging in there and so thankful to be fighting this flu because it means that Simon is alive and able to fight. Praise Him!!!!

Going back to rehab. One step closer to home. :)


Surgery was perfect and he is already extubated. He is on his way to intensive care to recover overnight. Please pray for him as he is sick and his immunities are down. So thankful for everyone at Rady's and their amazing work.

Simon is going in for surgery this morning to get his bone flap put back in. He has been sick with what I have, so please pray that he is able to heal and it doesn't affect his recovery. He will go to intensive care to recover and won't be able to move around. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors & nurses, patience and peace for Jesse & I and strength for Simon to get through this.

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Lastly, I'm sure some of you have been curious to know how it has been being back on Facebook. I went the full 365 days without it and then just started adding back some of my friends and family.

I've loved catching up with some old friends, finding out about some engagements, babies on the way, etc. 

I've only added back a little over 100 friends and family at this point and I love it. 

I don't think I'll ever go back to having 900 "friends."

I see the people I truly want to be in touch with in my newsfeed. It's awesome.

I did remove notifications from my phone.

But like I had mentioned in my Facebook aha! Moment, it is not something that consumes me anymore. I truly did deal with the root of my problem, my lack of self control, and it has given me a completely different outlook. 

God is good.

Facebook is fun again.

And a belly pic to end on....  ☺

Instagram Friday. {Recent happenings!}

It's been a while since I joined the Instagram Friday fun so here I am! 

I had my second baby appointment yesterday and like last time, the whole tribe came with. I didn't know I was going to get lucky enough to get another ultra sound and was so excited!! Addy was showing everyone the pictures of "her baby." 

Other random happenings around here that I need to blog about are that Addyson started preschool! Where is the time going?! We are only doing two half days a week, but I still can't believe it. She is loving it so far. I held up the entire morning and it wasn't until that evening of her first day and she was sitting with me on my bed and I just started crying. I couldn't believe 3 years ago I was on the beach with my little 7 month old. Oh the tears!!!

Sawyer had a visit to the doc this week just for a late 18 month check up. I absolutely died when the docs told me that he was 36 3/4 inches long at 21 months. Completely off the charts for his age range. They told me he was average height for a 32 month old! It's so funny to me that both my kids don't have a speck of their momma's height genes. They are going to pass me up before they are 5. Sheesh. 

Addy showing Sawyer the 13 week baby pics!

 Sawyer "washing daddy's hair." lol.

 Me and my baby girl, January 3 years ago. 

 Warm day in January meant water time fun!

 Daddy is always more fun. lol. 

 Sawyer's idea of picking me flowers. ♥

 Sawyer's 21 month check up! Big boy! 

 Addyson's 1st day of preschool.

Prayer for Simon Update

I have a bit of an update since my last post on little Simon's condition. 

The family has set up a page on Facebook to receive updates and to pray for the family. You can check that page out here. 

For those that missed my last post, a friend's son, Simon {17 months old} slipped after he got out of the bath hitting his head on the floor. After showing signs of a concussion, he was taken to urgent care. He threw up while in the care of the doctors at urgent care so was sent to the hospital for a CT scan. Scan showed massive bleeding and he was immediately life flighted to Children's Hospital San Diego for surgery to stop the bleeding. The fall cracked one of the cranial bones and cut an artery that ran beneath it. 

The surgery had a miraculous outcome and a further CT scan showed no additional bleeding, but as Simon woke up he showed signs of weakness in his right side and the Neurosurgeon restudied the CT scan and identified a small portion of the brain that was damaged that particularly controls movement. 

To give you all a quick overview of what has taken place in just the last few days, I will post excerpts from Rena, mommy of Simon, from this page. Oldest to most recent.

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Simon is still stable. He had a good rest last night. They are hoping to do an MRI today to check if he may have brain damge caused from a stroke. His neurologist looked at his latest CT scan and has some concerns. Please pray for these results and pray that they can extubate him. 

So the PIC line will not be put in until tomorrow at which point they should extubate him. He is slightly awake, but still pretty groggy. Pray for Simon as he is becoming more conscious to not be too scared and to somehow understand what is going on. Also pray that he is able to rest still to fully heal. He is such a strong, spunky little person. Pray for Jesse and I still to have patience as it is killing us not to hold him. Oh, and we are so thankful to have finally gotten a room at the Ronald MacDonald house, so we now have a place for Liam to stay with us.

Human Tribe Project was recommended as a means to raise money for Simon. We have started a "Tribe" for Simon. If anyone feels led to give monitarily, this is how you can give directly to his recovery. All the proceeds are given to the Frey Family. All you have to do is go to humantribeproject.com and our "tribe" is Simon Frey. You do have to register as a user before donating. It makes you a "member" of the Praying For Simon Frey tribe. Thank you for those that have taken the time to look at this site and give. Check out the site here.  

The PIC line is and the tube is out. He is wheezy, but they are happy it's a step forward. He will be assessed tomorrow for speech (helps determine his eating), physical therapy, and those types of things. Keep praying this sweet boy well. And pray that as Simon makes progress and Rena and Jesse are needed more, that the transition is smooth and stable with Liam. 

Simon has been moved to a crib-like bed, as seen below. His breathing is still labored, which is to be expected. When he's awake, he is trying to be active and that pleases the doctors.

I've been worried about Simon's personality, since we haven't seen him smile, that it won't return the same and Jesse reminded me to post a prayer request/new Facebook status, since there are so many diligent prayer warriors out there praying for Simon. Pray his personality returns and that he will also heal quickly in therapy and be able to sit on his own, etc. It's draining to try to be strong for so long and it definitely ways on me at times, but I'm trying so hard to let my faith be stronger than my fear. 

God is so good! I rushed over to Simon's room this morning and he woke up and called for me and then when I set my phone down next to him, he immediately grabbed it and held it up to push the buttons. I asked for it back and he said, "no"! He also SMILED at me!!!! It is so good to see him getting back to himself. God truly listens to our prayers and even our tiny concerns. Jesse and I are starting to think that he's super bored laying in his bed, so we turned on Elmo and he was stoked. :) 

Simon's left eye is getting stronger. He's beginning to look like his old self again. He turns 17 months old today. "Hard to believe that all of this happened only one week ago. I feel like I've aged 5 years."- Rena

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Please keep up the prayers for little Simon... he has a long road ahead, but there is so much hope! 

God is good! 

I'm Going Back. {Prayers for Simon please!}

I'm writing this morning with a lot on my mind. I'm going to try to sift through the mountains of thoughts and try to get this post out as clear as possible. Bear with me.

A week from today I will hit my goal of going 365 days without Facebook. It has been quite a journey, and I've learned a lot. My heart has changed I can promise you that. If you haven't read my Facebook aha! moment, you can read that here.

Up until recently I have been torn on whether or not I want to go back on. I don't really miss it most of the time, but slowly I started feeling it on my heart that it's not about me. Why do I keep making this about me?  Ahh, because I'm human I suppose. :)

My decision at this point is about those that I truly care about. The ones that I have failed at staying in contact with this past year... 

The ones that I had no idea that their baby was born with critical conditions that needed prayer. 

The ones that came down with unique illnesses this year and I was one of the last to know. 

The ones that found out they were pregnant after a long time of trying and I wasn't able to offer my congrats.  

These are the people that I care about and just because I can't make a call to each of them every month to see how they are doing doesn't mean I don't want to know what is going on with them, pray for them, let them know I'm here for them.

At first I think I just expected everyone would get it that I was not on Facebook, therefore, if big events happened, well then text me of course! Guess what, in the heat of a moment when you are crying out for prayer you don't have time to make a second contact list of all the people that don't have social media. I remember this so clearly when we were on our knees asking for prayer on Facebook as I watched my father-in-law pass away within 72 hours of his diagnosis of cancer. This was only 2 years ago and I remember it as clear as day. I could barely get updates up on Facebook, never mind even think about anyone that I may not have reached in that way. But those posts and being surrounded by prayer on that site is what helped keep us going... I hope this is making sense.

Then something happened last night and it confirmed all the feelings I have been having. A friend of mine posted an image on Instagram of a family I know and her caption read: Praying for you Simon! My heart stopped for a moment. Wait a second.. I know them, Simon is only a few months younger than Sawyer. My husband knows her husband... what is going on with Simon!? I posted back on Instagram immediately asking what was going on, and my friend said to add her on Facebook so that I could get all the updates. I was instantly so annoyed at myself. I couldn't get the updates because I am not on Facebook. I had to have my husband add her and then he relayed all the information to me.

Little, sweet, Simon slipped and fell in the bath the night before and was taken to urgent care for what they thought was a concussion. They posted on a Facebook a picture of him in the waiting room and asked for prayer. Literally about 3 hours later they were posting saying that Simon was now fighting for his life. He was life-flighted to San Diego Children's Hospital for emergency brain surgery! Are you kidding me!? I could not believe what I was hearing. So now he went through surgery and is still in critical condition. They are trying to figure out how much brain function he has at this point, keep his temperature down and slowly get him off the sedation. I cannot even imagine the roller coaster this dear family is going through right now. I immediately started praying. I woke up about a million times last night, and every time I woke up I got out the words, Lord heal Simon. This little boy has consumed my thoughts, my prayers.

This incident confirmed what I had already been feeling. 

I'm going back.  

I can't pray, organize meals, help with fundraisers if I don't know what is going on.  

I don't take it personally that I have been the last to know about things, it's just life. Facebook and Twitter are by far the best way at reaching a lot of people in a short amount of time. I'm just thankful I had Instagram otherwise I have no idea how long it would have gone without me knowing about little Simon.

I considered getting back on Facebook a week early so that I could read the updates, but I am going to wait until the 365 are up. I'm having my husband check constantly and update me right now. We both have our hearts invested in his recovery.

Basically, at this point after dealing with my own issues of Facebook I've realized that the positive aspects of it far outweigh the negatives. And if negative feelings start to come back, well, then I should probably check my heart first.  

I'm eager to connect with those that I did lose contact with over the last year. I'm not afraid for a moment that it will consume my time because I've already dealt with that. I think at this point going back on Facebook will probably make me a better friend. If I see something going on, I can personally check in with them and get together. I'm ready to write lovey dove messages on my hubby's wall again.. LOL.

I probably will keep my blog name the same for now because, well, A Mom Without Facebook is where this blog started. It still holds special meaning to me. I think the Lord really taught me a lot during this time I spent away from Facebook. I'm glad I did it, and I'm proud of myself for committing to going the full 365 days without it. Just for the sake of discipline.

I'm still going to be blogging, because I love this way of sharing my thoughts. I love being able to look back at my blog posts this year alone and see where I have come, the different trials I have gone through, the happy moments I have shared and be able to read my exact emotion on that day. Something I will never relive. So although I may not be blogging daily, this momma isn't going anywhere.

I'm coming back to the lovely social networking site.... and if I had to choose one word to describe the feeling... humbled.

In the meantime, I do want to ask for prayer for sweet Simon. I will keep you all updated as his progress continues.

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I wish you all a safe and blessed New Year!

Oh and here's a little fun note to end on. I'm almost done with my first trimester! YES!!!! 

Missing In Action.

I've definitely been missing in action lately. I have honestly cried when getting emails from some of you checking in on me because you have noticed that I haven't blogged in a while. That's just where my emotions are at right now. A big roller coaster! But thank you, so so much.

I just wanted to give a quick update because I really can't be on the computer long at all. I get dizzy even scrolling through Pinterest on my phone! How bad is that!? lol. And this has pretty much been my playroom lately. It takes everything out of me to help the kids pick it up, so most days I just don't. lol. Oh man. So not like me!

The morning sickness, or shall I say, all day sickness has been tough. I'm getting by though. Thankfully my sister and I just text and call each other and get all our complaining out and then go about our days. :) I'm now taking a nausea pill called Zofran. It's a category B med and it's helping most of the time, and then last night I lost the nausea battle. Ugh no fun! Just talking about it makes me want to run for the bathroom. Lovely!

But I just keep reminding myself... it's so worth it in the end... and there are plenty of women with morning sickness much worse than I... and some that get it the entire 40 weeks! I'll be 10 weeks on Friday and usually I start getting relief around 12/13 weeks. Almost there...

Funny thing is, when I have been feeling okay enough that food sounds really good, I've been craving salads!? WHAT? That has never happened before!! I'm not complaining, but just very strange... lol.

So I'm just praying through the tough parts and thankfully my kids and hubby have been amazing. Hubby has brought home dinner several times, helps with as much as he can at night, dishes, laundry, you name it. He's awesome. And Addy and Sawyer have been troopers. They have been playing together so well and watching a few more movies than usual, but hey, it's only a season right? The kids even come up and bring toys on my bed and just hang with me when I'm too off to do much else. I love that they just sense that something is not normal, and just hang with me. Their little spirits brighten my day. 

My sister and I both went to our first doc appointments last week. It was so funny to have both of us, our hubbys and my kids all in the waiting room together. Our doctor got quite a kick out my sister and I being due so close. She as well kept us at 4 days apart, but pushed our due dates back 1 day. Both babies are doing great and the heart beats were strong on the sonogram. My sister and her hubby thought the little "peanut" baby at just about 9 weeks looked like a wad of gum. That cracked me up. I suppose they are kind of right! haha.

I also turned 29 last week. CRAZY. It was a low key day, but I still felt spoiled and had fun hanging with my fam. My sis made these awesome rainbow sprinkle cupcakes. LOVE.

Well, I'm exhausted now so I'm going to go take it easy. That's a little update as to what has been going on over here...

It's hard to believe that this time next year I'm going to have a 7 year old {step-son}, a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 5 month old. WOW.

Maybe we are a little crazy?

Naaa... God will never give us more than we can handle. ♥

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas...